God has been showing me that He has more for me than what I have been living He has been doing a total heart overhaul on me.
Sometimes I embrace this heart change as new, great, exciting! (Growth: Ok, God.)Sometimes it is terrifying. (Different: AGH!!!)
And sometimes I do in fact throw a tantrum. (Change: Why should I? NO!!!)
God has been turning my heart toward serving my family...in the home. I told my husband last week after a long work day and then cooking dinner, playing with our 2-year old, and folding laundry, "I am so done with working full-time [outside of the home]," and his reply was, "I never thought I'd hear you say that."
You see, I grew up in a dual-income family. Out of necessity (not for dance lessons, or family vacations) my mother went back to work when I was 6. So a dual-income household was modeled for me and is the example that I followed. When André and I decided to have a baby the natural question for me was, "How are we going to afford daycare and where will the baby go?" The home daycare was chosen, and somehow the weekly daycare expense turned out to be affordable.
And then God started showing me that the roles of wife and mother are a gift from Him; that there is something special to be cherished in these gifts. God is showing me that there is more to being a wife and mother than just "adding it to a resume of duties performed." God is revealing to me the value, worth, fulfillment and eternal rewards in the roles of wife and mother. God is showing me how pleased He is when a woman embraces her God-given role as a wife and mother, instead of enduring it. God has, in effect, turned my heart toward my home.
I have fumbled my way, railroaded my way, and auto-piloted my way along the paths of marriage and motherhood. And now, I am finding my way by God's grace and gentle leading hand upon my heart.
I don't know how or when I will transition from my full-time job outside of the home to serving joyfully in my home full-time. But I do know that it is in His hands, He is wise, and trusting Him is a choice. I am excited to let Him be in control and give up the reins. I am looking forward to being able to put all of my energy (not my left over energy) into serving my family and managing my home.
Some of the tools God has given me to grow include:
• Blogs from women father ahead in the journey (http://www.womenlivingwell.com/, momheart.org)
• A Proverbs 31 Woman online Bible Study (http://www.goodmorninggirls.org/)
• His Word
• Attending the women's group at my church
• Praying
• Listening
• Obeying
In what ways is God working on your heart?
Where can you see His hand moving in your life?
What Bible verse can you cling to today?
